by J. Rae Chipera
(not a Twitter stockholder)

Alas, my un-named source who works for Google has informed me about the truth behind the rumors that Google+ will abandon ship.

The truth is that they are dismantling Google+ and all existing employees are going to work on the secret Dinosaur Cloning Development department. Jurassic Park will benefit our economy by eating Facebook. After all, Google's only concern as a corporation is NOT increasing the wealth of its shareholders and ensuring the longevity of its long-term assets - it's all about taking down that face place. 

The reorganization originally happened because of a broken light bulb. Nobody could figure out how many Google employees to get to fix it. Thus the light bulb went unchanged, and our beloved Mr. Vic Gundotra had to resign because he couldn't see the power button to turn his computer on at work.

With his departure, the entire platform will go to the Dinosaur Development project because no project on earth has ever survived after its leader leaves - ever. In the history of all time. Though people have been working hard on Google+, it's just not allowed to function anymore now that Gundotra is leaving.

<<Disclaimer: This truth has been completely made up. Thanks for clicking.>>>
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